Add more notes for Positive Discipline

parenting/positive-discipline.md

@@ -156,4 +156,93 @@ they've done it.
 
 ## Chapter Three: The Significance of Birth Order
 
+@todo
+
 ## Chapter Four: A New Look at Misbehaviour
+
+Misbehaviour =
+
+- "Discouraged behaviour"
+- "Lack of skills behaviour"
+- "Reptilian brain behaviour"
+- "Age-appropriate behaviour"
+
+### The Four Mistaken Beliefs and Mistaken Goals of Behavior
+
+1. Undue Attention—The mistaken belief: I belong only when I have your
+   attention.
+2. Misguided Power—The mistaken belief: I belong only when I’m the boss, or at
+   least when I don’t let you boss me.
+3. Revenge—The mistaken belief: I don’t belong, but at least I can hurt
+   back.
+4. Assumed Inadequacy—The mistaken belief: It is impossible to belong. I give up.
+
+It can be very encouraging to children seeking undue attention, to redirect
+them in ways to get attention in contributing ways.
+
+Children operating from assumed Inadequacy need parents to take time to show
+them a small step.
+
+### Clues to help identify mistaken beliefs and goals
+
+1. The adult's deeling reaction to the behaviour.
+2. The child's response when you tell them to stop the behaviour.
+
+Encouragement is the most effective way to change behavior. An encouraged
+child does not need to misbehave.
+
+### Effective encouragement method for each mistaken goal
+
+Undue attention:
+
+- Redirect into contributing behaviour.
+- Do the unexpected.
+- Schedule in special time.
+- Let them know you won't get hooked in.
+- Use non-verbal signals.
+- Avoid special service.
+- Reassure and show faith.
+- Ignore the behaviour but not the child.
+- Take time for training and practice.
+- Shut up and act.
+- Verbalise love and caring.
+
+Misguided power:
+
+- Withdraw and cool off.
+- Involve children in problem solving.
+- Use the **Four Steps for Winning Cooperation**.
+- Redirect to constructive use of power.
+- Decide what you will do, not what you will try to make the child do.
+- Avoid reminders and lectures.
+- Schedule in special time.
+- Ask children to help create routines.
+- Offer limited choices.
+- Verbalise love and caring.
+
+Revenge:
+
+- Don't retaliate.
+- Remain friendly while cooling off.
+- Show empathy.
+- Share your feelings.
+- Reflective listening with curiosity questions.
+- Use the **Three R's of Recovery**.
+- Use the **Four Steps for Winning Cooperation**.
+- Involve children in problem solving.
+- Show you care, encourage.
+- Schedule in special time.
+- Verbalise love and caring.
+
+Assumed inadequacy:
+
+- Tak etime for training, making the steps as basic as is necessary for children
+  to experience success.
+- Demonstrate a small step that children can duplicate.
+- Arrange for small successes.
+- Acknowledge any postive attempt.
+- Never expect perfection.
+- Focus on children's assets.
+- Don't give up.
+- Schedule in special time.
+- Verbalise love and caring.